Building your network starts with working on yourself
Every time I start these stream of consciousness writings, there’s a bunch of crap to clear at the start. A bunch of crap.
That’s the way it is, isn’t it? Every one of us has crap to clear at the start. Every one of us has crap that’s plugging the flow.
Beneath the crap, there’s our true self at the core, beneath the waterline, in our DNA…
All of these need to be mined, just like gold needs to be mined.
Treasure doesn’t reside on the surface
The treasure doesn’t reside on the surface.
The pure ore doesn’t lie around waiting to be picked up.
True ore needs to be mined. It needs work to be unearthed.
That’s why you need to “find yourself.”
You don’t stumble upon your true self lying by the sidewalk of life, by accident.
You usually need to go on a pilgrimage to find yourself by the sea, in the mountains or in a cloister somewhere.
It’s not impossible work.
It’s not even always hard work.
But it does take work.
It takes mining.
Finding yourself takes intentional effort
You need to plumb your own depths, and it takes work.
People never find themselves unless they’re willing to pay the price.
So, are you willing to pay the price to find yourself?
Because, if you’re not, you won’t find yourself.
Your true self is valuable, see, like pure gold. Your true self isn’t some kind of frivolous material like the sand on the seashore, though even that is valuable.
Gold is so much more valuable than sand, and you are so much more valuable than gold.
So it takes work.
Not impossible work, not necessarily hard work, but work.
Take panning for gold, for example.
People used to go to a river, even here in Malaysia, scoop up a pan full of riverbed dirt and swish it away gently until the heavier materials remain. And often there would be gold there.
Not impossible to do, not even that hard to do, but it definitely took intentional effort.
- They had to decide they wanted to pan for gold.
- They had to get the tools and wardrobe. A pan tray and a loincloth would do, in these here tropics.
- Then they had to ask around their networks for a likely location where they could find gold.
In Malaysia, Sungai Lembing (“Spear River”) was one of many locations.
Treasure hunting takes a network
Think about those networks for a minute. If you wanted to find a good place to pan for gold, you would have to ask around, and most people wouldn’t know where.
Some would know where. And of those who knew, not everyone would tell you unless they knew you, liked you and trusted you.
Apply this to mining for your true self.
- Most people have no clue who you are. They don’t even have any idea who they are themselves.
- A minority of people know who they are and therefore might be able to help you find who you are.
- Of this minority of people, how many really know you?
- Of these few who know you, how many like you?
- And of this tiny niche of people who know themselves, know you and like you, how many can trust you?
Because it is from this small section of humanity that you will be on pilgrimage with to discover who you really are.
Before you go out and start mining for your true self, you need to get into fighting shape so that you don’t get washed away by the river or get lost in the mines, so to speak.
You must be the right kind of person
If you need the right kind of conscious people to “know, like and trust” you, you need to be “knowable, likeable and trustable.”
- That means you need to be vulnerable so that people can know you, not your persona but really you.
- You need to be reciprocal so that people can like you.
- You need to do what you say, and be benevolent, not malignant, so people can trust you.
Then you have a chance of finding your place in a network that will give you a chance of mining for and finding your true self.
To find the right kind of people
This is called mentorship and fellowship.
And it applies to your career and business as well.
In your office, it might look like schmoozing, which in itself is morally neutral. It is a vehicle for where you want to bring your relationships.
In network marketing, it determines the strength and quality of your network.
If you want to get to the quality sales, you need to build quality relationships. And in order to build quality relationships, you need to be a quality person.
- Authenticity and vulnerability.
- Likeability and reciprocity.
- Integrity and intention.
These determine how knowable, likeable and trustable you are, which determines the quality of people you have the chance of encountering.
It’s not impossible work.
It’s not even hard work, necessarily.
But it is intentional work.
Are you willing to do it?