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Anthony de Mello

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Among the truly religious the Law is observed. But it is neither feared,... “What do you do for a living?” asked a lady of a young man at a cocktail party. “I am a paratrooper.” “It must be awful to be a parachute jumper, said the lady. “Well, it does have its scary moments.” “Tell me about your most terrible experience. “Well,” said the paratrooper, “I think it was the time when I came down on a lawn where there was a sign which read, KEEP OFF THE GRASS. 🙂
isaiah_smith tipped:
...nor exploited. Mullah Nasruddin found a diamond by the road-side but, according to the Law, finders became keepers only if they first announced their find in the centre of the marketplace on three separate occasions. Now Nasruddin was too religious-minded to disregard the Law and too greedy to run the risk of parting with his find. So on three consecutive nights when he was sure that everyone was fast asleep he went to the centre of the marketplace and there announced in a soft voice, “I have found a diamond on the road that leads to the town. Anyone knowing who the owner is should contact me at once.” No one was the wiser for the Mullah’s words, of course, except for one man who happened to be standing at his window on the third night and heard the Mullah mumble something. When he attempted to find out what it was, Nasruddin replied, “I am in no way obliged to tell you. But this much I shall say: Being a religious man, I went out there at night to pronounce certain words in fulfilment of the Law.” 🙂
..nor revered... A sergeant was asking a group of recruits why walnut was used for the butt of a rifle. “Because it is harder then other wood,” said one man. “Wrong.” said the sergeant. “Because it is more elastic.” “Wrong again.” ’Because it has a better shine.” “You boys certainty have a lot to learn. Walnut is used for the simple reason that it is laid down in the Regulations!” 🙂
petergec replied:
...it is neither absolutized... A railway official reported a murder on a train in the following terms: “The assassin entered the coach from the platform, stabbed the victim savagely five times, each time inflicting a mortal blow, and left the train by the opposite door, alighting upon the railway track--thereby transgressing Railway Regulations.” A nobleman was criticized for burning down a cathedral. He said he was truly sorry but had been informed-falsely, as it turned out -that the Archbishop was inside! 🙂
petergec replied:
In a small town a man dialled 016 for directory information. A woman’s voice at the other end said. “I’m sorry; you will have to dial 015 for that.” It seemed to him. when he had dialled 015, that he was hearing the same voice at the other end. So he said. “Aren’t you the lady whom I spoke to a while ago?” “I am.” said the voice. “I’m doing both jobs today.” 🙂
petergec replied:
…nor magnified out of all proportion... Mr. Smith had killed his wife and his defence was temporary insanity. He was in the witness stand and his lawyer asked him to describe the crime in his own words. “Your Honour,” he said, “I am a quiet man of regular habits who lives at peace with all the world. Each day I wake at seven, have breakfast at seven-thirty, show up for work at nine, leave work at five, come home at six, find supper on the table, eat it, read the papers, watch television, then retire for the night. Until the day in question,.” Here his breathing accelerated and a look of fury came upon him. “Go on,” said the lawyer quietly. “Tell this court what happened.” “On the day in question. I woke up at seven, as usual, had my breakfast at seven- thirty, got to work at nine, left at five, got home at six and I discovered to my dismay that supper wasn’t on the table. There was no sign of my wife either. So I searched through the house and found her in bed with a strange man. So I shot her.” “Describe your emotions at the time you killed her,” said the lawyer, anxious to make his point. “I was in an uncontrollable rage. I just went out of my mind. Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,’ he shouted pounding the arm of his chair with his fist, “When I get home at six I absolutely demand that supper be ready on the table!” 🙂
petergec replied: