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petergec
9 hours ago
An influential British politician kept pestering Disraeli for a baronetcy. The Prime Minister could not see his way to obliging the man but he managed to refuse him without hurting his feelings. He said, “I am sorry I cannot give you a baronetcy, but I can give you something better: you can tell your friends that I offered you the baronetcy and that you turned it down. 🙂
petergec
1 day ago
A man walked into a doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, i have this awful headache that never leaves me. Could you give me something for it?” “I will.” said the doctor, “But I want to check a few things out first. Tell me, do you drink a lot of liquor?” “Liquor?” said the man indignantly, “I never touch the filthy stuff.” “How about smoking?” “I think smoking is disgusting. I’ve never in my life touched tobacco.” “I’m a bit embarrassed to ask this, but... you know the way some men are., do you do
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petergec
2 days ago
Four monks decided to go into silence for a month. They started out well enough but after the first day one monk said, “I wonder if I locked the door of my cell at the monastery before we set out.” Another monk said, “You fool! We decided to keep silence for a month and now you have gone and broken it!” A third monk said. “What about you? You have broken it too!” Said the fourth. “Thank God I’m the only one who hasn’t spoken yet!” 🙂
petergec
3 days ago
A ninety-two year old priest was venerated by everyone in town. When he appeared on the streets people would bow low such was the man’s reputation for holiness. He was also a member of the Rotary Club. Every time the Club met he would be there, always on time and always seated at his favourite spot in a corner of the room One day the priest disappeared. It was as if he vanished into thin air because, search as they might, the townsfolk could find no trace of him. The following month, however, wh
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petergec
4 days ago
An old rabbi was lying ill in bed and his disciples were holding a whispered conversation at his bedside. They were extolling his unparalleled virtues. “Not since the time of Solomon has there been one as wise as he,” said one of them. “And his faith! It equals that of our father Abraham!” said another “Surely his patience equals that of Job.” said a third. “Only in Moses can we find someone who conversed as in intimately with God “ said a fourth. The rabbi seemed restless. When the disciples ha
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petergec
5 days ago
Buddha’s disciple Subhuti suddenly discovered the richness and fecundity of emptiness: the realisation that everything is impermanent, unsatisfactory and empty of self. In this mood of divine emptiness he sat in bliss under a tree when suddenly flowers began to fall all around him. And the gods whispered, “We are enraptured by your sublime teachings on emptiness.” Subhuti replied, “But I haven’t uttered a word about emptiness.” “True,” the gods replied. “You have not spoken of emptiness, we have
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petergec
6 days ago
Holiness, like greatness, is unself-conscious. For thirty-five years Paul Cezanne lived in obscurity producing masterpieces that he gave away to unsuspecting neighbours. So great was his love for his work that he never gave a thought to achieving recognition nor did he suspect that some day he would be looked upon as the father of modern painting. He owes his fame to a Paris dealer who chanced upon some of his paintings, put some of them together and presented the world of art with the first Cez
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petergec
1 week ago
There once lived a man so godly that even the angels rejoiced at the sight of him. But, in spite of his great holiness, he had no notion that he was holy . He just went about his humdrum tasks diffusing goodness the way flowers unselfconsciously diffuse their fragrance and street-lamps their glow. His holiness lay in this that he forgot each person’s past and looked at them as they were now, and he looked beyond each person’s appearance to the very centre of their being where they were innocent
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petergec
1 week ago
Lady Pumphampton’s gentleman friend had come to tea so she gave her maid a large tip and said, “Here, take this. When you hear me scream for help, you may leave for the day.” 🙂
petergec
1 week ago
THE SAINTS Some are born holy. others achieve holiness. others yet have holiness thrust on them. An oil well caught fire and the company called in the experts to put out the blaze. But so intense was the heat that the fire-fighters could not get within a thousand feet of the rig. The management, in desperation, called the local volunteer Fire Department to help in any way they could. Half an hour later a decrepit looking fire truck rolled down the road and came to an abrupt stop just fifty fe
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petergec
1 week ago
Some things are best left as they are: An enthusiastic young man who had just graduated as a plumber was taken to see Niagara Falls. He studied it for a minute, then said. “I think I can fix this.” 🙂
petergec
1 week ago
One Sunday morning after church God and St Peter went to play golf. God teed off. He gave a mighty swipe and sliced the ball off into the rough beside the fairway. Just as the ball was about to hit the ground, a rabbit darted out of a bush, picked it up in his mouth and ran with it down the fairway. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, picked the rabbit up in its claws and flew it over the green. A man with a rifle took aim and shot the eagle in mid-flight. The eagle let go of the rabbit. The rabbit
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petergec
1 week ago
A man in his eighties was once asked the secret of his enormous stamina. “Well,” he answered, “I don’t drink, I don’t smoke. And I swim a mile a day,” “But I had an uncle who did exactly that, and he died at the age of sixty.” “Ah, the trouble with your uncle was he didn’t do it long enough.” 🙂
petergec
1 week ago
A young composer once came to consult Mozart on how to develop his talent. “I would advise you to start with simple things.” Mozart said. “Songs, for example.” “But you were composing symphonies when you were a child!” the man protested. “True enough. But then I didn’t have to go to anyone for advice on how to develop my talent.” 🙂
petergec
2 weeks ago
A devout religious man fell on hard times. So he took to praying in the following fashion: “Lord, remember all the years I served you as best I could, asking for nothing in return. Now that I am old and bankrupt I am going to ask you for a favour for the first time in my life and I am sure you will not say No: allow me to win the lottery.” Days passed. Then weeks and months. But nothing happened. Finally, almost driven to despair, he cried out one night, “Why don’t you give me a break, God?” He
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petergec
2 weeks ago
A woman dreamt she walked into a brand new shop in the marketplace and, to her surprise, found God behind the counter. “What do you sell here?” she asked “Everything your heart desires,” said God. Hardly daring to believe what she was hearing, the woman decided to ask for the best things a human being could wish for. “I want peace of mind and love and happiness and wisdom and freedom from fear,” she said. Then as an after thought, she added, “Not just for me. For everyone on earth.” God smil
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petergec
2 weeks ago
“Mummy, I want a baby brother.” “But you’ve just got one.” “I want another.” “Well, you can’t have one so soon. It takes time to produce a baby brother.” “Why don’t you do what Daddy does at the factory?” “What’s that?” “Put more men on the job.” 🙂
petergec
2 weeks ago
A family of refugees was very favourably impressed with America-especially the six-year-old daughter who rapidly adopted the view that everything American was not only the best but also perfect. One day a neighbour told her she was going to have a baby, so little Mary marched home and demanded to know why she couldn’t have a little baby too. Her mother decided to introduce her to the facts of life right there and, among other things, explained that it took about nine months for a baby to arrive
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petergec
2 weeks ago
The President of the largest Banking Corporation in the world was in hospital. One of the Vice-Presidents came to visit him with this message: “I bring you the good wishes of our Board of Directors, that you should be restored to health and live to be a hundred years. That’s an official resolution passed by a majority of 15 to 6 with 2 abstensions.” 🙂 Are we ever likely to stop our efforts? to burn fire, wet water and add colour to the rose?
petergec
2 weeks ago
A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, “Congratulations, you have a son!” Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, “Hey, what’s the idea? I got here two hours before he did!” Some things, alas, resist organization! 🙂
petergec
2 weeks ago
A man was lost in a desert. Later, when describing his ordeal to his friends, he told how, in sheer despair, he had knelt down and cried out to God to help him. “And did God answer your prayer?” he was asked. “Oh, no! Before He could, an explorer appeared and showed me the way.” 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
In his Narrative of the Saints, Attar tells of the great Sufi Habib Ajami who went to bathe in the river one day leaving his coat lying unattended on the bank. Now Hasan of Basra happened to pass by, saw the coat and, thinking that it had been left there through someone’s carelessness, decided to stand guard over it till the owner showed up. When Habib came looking for his coat, Hasan said, “In whose care did you leave this coat of yours when you went to bathe in the river? It could have been s
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petergec
3 weeks ago
Goldberg had the loveliest garden in town and each time the Rabbi passed by he would call out to Goldberg, “Your garden is a thing of beauty. The Lord and you are partners!” “Thank you. Rabbi,” Goldberg would respond with a bow. This went on for days and weeks and months. At least twice a day the Rabbi, on his way to and from the synagogue would call out, “The Lord and you are partners!” until Goldberg began to be annoyed at what the Rabbi evidently meant as a compliment. So the next time the Ra
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petergec
3 weeks ago
A disciple came riding on his camel to the tent of his Sufi Master. He dismounted and walked right into the tent, bowed low and said, “So great is my trust in God that I have left my camel outside untied, convinced that God protects the interests of those who love him.” “Go tie your camel, you fool!” said the Master. God cannot be bothered doing for you what you are perfectly capable of doing for yourself.” 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
“So this was your first flight. Were you scared?” “Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t dare put my full weight down on the seat.” 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
An old woman observed how, with scientific precision, her rooster would begin to crow just before the sun rose each day. She therefore came to the conclusion that the crowing of her rooster caused the sun to rise. So when her rooster suddenly died she hastened to replace it with another lest the sun fail to rise the following morning. One day she fell out with her neighbours and threatened to move out of the village with her sister several miles away. When her rooster started to crow next day
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petergec
3 weeks ago
An elephant broke loose from the herd and charged across a little wooden structure that stretched across a ravine. The worn-out bridge shivered and groaned, barely able to support the elephant’s weight. Once it had gone safely to the other side, a flea that had lodged itself in the elephant’s ear exclaimed in mighty satisfaction, “Boy, did we shake that bridge!” 🙂
petergec
4 weeks ago
At a party in Japan a visitor was introduced to a popular Japanese drink. After his first drink he noticed the furniture in the room moving around. “This is a very powerful drink.” he said to his host. “Not particularly,” the host replied. “This happens to be an earthquake.” 🙂
petergec
4 weeks ago
Two monks were on their travels. One of them practiced the spirituality of acquisition, the other believed in renunciation. All day long they discussed their respective spiritualities till, towards evening they came to the bank of a river. Now the believer in renunciation had no money with him He said, “We cannot pay the boatman to take us across, but why bother about the body? We shall spend the night here, chanting God’s praises and tomorrow we are sure to find some kind soul who will pay ou
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petergec
4 weeks ago
😅👍
petergec
4 weeks ago
GRACE A priest was sitting at his desk by the window composing a sermon on Providence when he heard something that sounded like an explosion. Soon he saw people running to and fro in a panic and discovered that a dam had burst, the river was in spate and the people were being evacuated. The priest saw the water begin to rise in the street below. He had some difficulty suppressing his own rising sense of panic but he, said to himself, “Here I am preparing a sermon about Providence and I am bei
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petergec
1 month ago
The priest announced that Jesus Christ himself was coming to church the following Sunday. People turned up in large numbers to see him. Everyone expected him to preach, but he only smiled when introduced and said, “Hello,” Everyone offered him hospitality for the night, especially the priest, but he refused politely. He said he would spend the night in church. How fitting, everyone thought. He slipped away early next morning before the Church doors were opened. And, to their horror, The priest a
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petergec
1 month ago
Among Jews, the observance of the Sabbath, the day of the Lord, was originally a thing of joy but too many Rabbis kept issuing one injunction after another on how exactly it was to be observed, what sort of activity was allowed, until some people fell they could hardly move during the Sabbath for fear that some regulation or other might be transgressed. The Baal Shem, son of Eliezer, gave much thought to this matter. One night he had a dream. An angel took him up to heaven and showed him two thr
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petergec
1 month ago
To be properly wicked, you do not have to break the Law. Just observe it to the letter. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
...nor exploited. Mullah Nasruddin found a diamond by the road-side but, according to the Law, finders became keepers only if they first announced their find in the centre of the marketplace on three separate occasions. Now Nasruddin was too religious-minded to disregard the Law and too greedy to run the risk of parting with his find. So on three consecutive nights when he was sure that everyone was fast asleep he went to the centre of the marketplace and there announced in a soft voice, “I have
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petergec
1 month ago
..nor revered... A sergeant was asking a group of recruits why walnut was used for the butt of a rifle. “Because it is harder then other wood,” said one man. “Wrong.” said the sergeant. “Because it is more elastic.” “Wrong again.” ’Because it has a better shine.” “You boys certainty have a lot to learn. Walnut is used for the simple reason that it is laid down in the Regulations!” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
Among the truly religious the Law is observed. But it is neither feared,... “What do you do for a living?” asked a lady of a young man at a cocktail party. “I am a paratrooper.” “It must be awful to be a parachute jumper, said the lady. “Well, it does have its scary moments.” “Tell me about your most terrible experience. “Well,” said the paratrooper, “I think it was the time when I came down on a lawn where there was a sign which read, KEEP OFF THE GRASS. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
In a desert country trees were scarce and fruit was hard to come by. It was said that God wanted to make sure there was enough for everyone, so He appeared to a prophet and said, “This is my commandment to the whole people for now and for future generations: no one shall eat more than one fruit a day. Record this in the Holy Book. Anyone who transgresses this law will be considered to have sinned against God and against humanity.” The law was faithfully observed for centuries until scientists d
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petergec
1 month ago
On a rocky seacoast where shipwrecks were frequent there was once a ramshackle little life-saving station. It was no more than a hut and there was only one boat, but the few people who manned the station were a devoted lot who kept constant watch over the sea and, with little regard for themselves and their safety, went fearlessly out in a storm if they had any evidence that there had been a shipwreck somewhere. Many lives were thus saved and the station became famous. As the fame of the statio
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petergec
1 month ago
How spiritual organizations grow: A Guru was so impressed by the spiritual progress of his disciple that, judging he needed no further guidance, he left him on his own in a little hut on the banks of a river. Each morning after his ablutions the disciple would hang his loin-cloth out to dry. It was his only possession! One day he was dismayed to find it torn to shreds by rats. So he had to beg for another from the villagers. When the rats nibbled holes in this one too, he got himself a kitten.
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petergec
1 month ago
Someone asked for the bishop’s imprimatur for a book for children that contained the parables of Jesus, a few simple illustrations and a few gospel sentences. Not a single word more. The imprimatur was given with the customary disclaimer: “The imprimatur does not necessarily imply that the bishop agrees with the opinions expressed in this book.” More organizational pitfalls! 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A bishop was testing the suitability of a group of candidates for baptism. “By what sign will others know that you are Catholics?” he asked. There was no reply. Evidently no one had expected this question. The bishop repeated the question. Then he said it once again, this time making the Sign of the Cross to give the others a clue to the right answer. Suddenly one of the candidates got it, “Love” he said. The bishop was taken aback. He was about to say. “Wrong,” then checked himself in the nick
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petergec
1 month ago
According to one story, when God created the world and glorified in its goodness, Satan shared his rapture, in his own way, of course, for as he contemplated marvel after marvel, he kept exclaiming, “How good it is! Let’s organize it!” “And take all the fun out of it!” Have you ever attempted to organize something like peace? The moment you do, You have power conflicts and group wars within the organization. The only way to have peace is to let it grow wild. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
The preacher was more than ordinarily eloquent and everyone, but everyone, was moved to tears. Well, not everyone exactly, because there, in the front pew, sat a gentleman looking straight in front of him, quite unaffected by the sermon. At the end of the service, someone said to him, “You heard the sermon, didn’t you?” “Of course, I did,” said the stony gentleman. “I am not deaf.” “What did you think of it?” “I thought it so moving I could have cried.” “And why, may I ask, did you not cry?” “Be
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petergec
1 month ago
A church or synagogue needs to raise money if it is to survive. Now there was once a Jewish synagogue where they did not pass the collection plate around as they do in Christian Churches. Their way of raising money was to sell tickets for reserved seats on Solemn Holy Days for that was when the congregation was the largest and the people most generous. On one such Holy Day a kid came to the synagogue in search of his father but the ushers wouldn’t let him in because he did not have a ticket. “Lo
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petergec
1 month ago
A public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. “They won’t let me in. Lord, because I am a sinner.” “What are you complaining about?” said God. “They won’t let me in either!” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
In his autobiography, Mahatma Gandhi tells how in his student days in South Africa he became deeply interested in the Bible, especially the Sermon on the Mount. He became convinced that Christianity was the answer to the caste system that had plagued India for centuries, and he seriously considered becoming a Christian. One day he went to a church to attend Mass and get instructions. He was stopped at the entrance and gently told that if he desired to attend Mass he was welcome to do so in a chu
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petergec
1 month ago
Little boy: “Are you a Presbyterian?” Little girl: “No. We belong to a different abomination.” A hunter sent his dog after something that moved behind the trees. It chased out a fox and corralled it into a position where the hunter could shoot it. The dying fox said to the hound, “Were you never told that the fox is brother to the dog?” “I was, indeed,” said the dog. “But that’s for idealists and fools. For the practical-minded, brotherhood is created by identity of interests.” Said the Christ
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petergec
1 month ago
In Belfast, Ireland, a Catholic priest, a Protestant minister and a Jewish rabbi were engaged in a heated theological discussion. Suddenly an Angel appeared in their midst and said to them, “God sends you his blessings. Make one wish for Peace and your wish will be fulfilled by the Almighty.” The minister said, “Let every Catholic disappear from our lovely island. Then peace will reign supreme.” The priest said, “Let there not be a single Protestant left on our sacred Irish soil. That will bring
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petergec
1 month ago
Rabbi Abraham had lived an exemplary life. And when his time arrived, he left this world surrounded by the blessings of his congregation who had come to regard him as a saint and as the principal cause of all the blessings they had received from God. It was no different at the other end, for the angels came forward to welcome him with shouts of praise. Throughout the festivities the Rabbi seemed withdrawn and distressed. He kept his head in his hands and refused to be comforted. He was finally
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petergec
1 month ago
When Sister asked the children in her class what they wanted to be when they grew up little Tommy said he wanted to be a pilot. Elsie said she wanted to be a doc- tor, Bobby to Sister’s great joy, said he wanted to become a priest. Then Mary stood up and declared she wanted to be a prostitute, “What was that again, Mary?” “When I grow up,” said Mary with the air of someone who knew exactly what she wanted, “I shall become a prostitute.” Sister was startled beyond words. Mary was immediately segr
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petergec
1 month ago
A king dreamt that he saw a king in paradise and a priest in hell. He wondered how this could be then he heard a Voice say, “The king is in paradise because he respected priests. The priest is in hell because he compromised with kings.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
One night a fisherman stole into the grounds of a rich man and cast his net into a lake full of fish. The owner heard him and set his guards upon him. When he saw the crowd searching for him everywhere with lighted torches, the fisherman hastily smeared his body with ashes and sat under a tree, as is the custom with holy men in India. The owner and his guards could find no poacher, though they searched for a long time. All they found was a holy man covered with ashes sitting under a tree absorb
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petergec
1 month ago
All the philosophers, divines and doctors of the law were assembled in court for the trial of Mullah Nasruddin. The accusation was a serious one; he had been going from town to town saying, “Your so-called religious leaders are ignorant and confused.” So he was charged with heresy, the penalty for which was death. “You may speak first,” said the Caliph. The Mullah was perfectly self-possessed. “Have paper and pens brought in,” he said, “and give them to the ten wisest men in this august assembl
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petergec
1 month ago
An ancient philosopher, dead for many centuries, was told that his teachings were being misrepresented by his representatives. Being a compassionate and truth- loving individual, he managed, after much effort, to get the grace to come back to earth for a few days. it took him several days to convince his successors of his identity. Once that was established, they promptly lost all interest in what he had to say and begged him to disclose to them the secret for coming back to life from the grave
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petergec
1 month ago
Said a preacher to a friend, “We have just had the greatest revival our church has experienced in many years.” “How many did you add to your church membership?’ “None. We lost five hundred.” Jesus would have applauded! Experience shows, alas, that our religious convictions bear as much relation to our personal holiness as a mart’s dinner jacket to his digestion.
petergec
1 month ago
When a million people follow you ask yourself where you have gone wrong. A Jewish author explains that Jews are not proselytizers. Rabbis are required to make three separate efforts to discourage prospective converts! Spirituality is for the elite. It will not compromise to become acceptable so it will not consort with the masses who want syrup, not medicine. Once, when large crowds were following Jesus, this is what he said to them; “Which of you would think of building a tower without firs
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petergec
1 month ago
A Hindu Sage was having the Life of Jesus read to him. When he learned how Jesus was rejected by his people in Nazareth, he exclaimed, “A rabbi whose congregation does not want to drive him out of town isn’t a rabbi.” And when he heard how it was the priests who put Jesus to death, he said with a sigh, “It is hard for Satan to mislead the whole world, so he appoints prominent ecclesiastics in different parts of the globe.” The lament of a bishop: “Wherever Jesus went there was a revolution; whe
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petergec
2 months ago
A Master was surprised to hear shouting and altercation going on in his courtyard. When he was told that one of his disciples was at the centre of it, he had the man sent for and asked what the cause of the din was. “There is a delegation of scholars that has come to visit you. I told them you do not waste your time on men whose heads are stuffed with books and thoughts but devoid of wisdom. These are the people who, in their conceit, create dogmas and divisions among people everywhere.” The M
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petergec
2 months ago
The play was in progress at the village theatre when the curtain was suddenly lowered and the manager stepped before the audience. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “it distresses me deeply to have to announce that the leading actor, our great and beloved mayor himself, has just had a fatal heart attack in his dressing room. We are therefore forced to stop the play.” On hearing this announcement a huge middle-aged woman in the front row stood up and shouted agitatedly: “Quick! Give him chicken
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petergec
2 months ago
A group was enjoying the music at a Chinese restaurant. Suddenly a soloist struck up a vaguely familiar tune; everyone recognized the melody but no one could remember its name. So they beckoned to the splendidly-clad waiter and asked him to find out what the musician was playing. The waiter waddled across the floor, then returned with a look of triumph on his face and declared in a loud whisper, “Violin!” The scholar’s contribution to spirituality! 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A parachutist jumped out of a plane on a windy day and was blown a hundred miles off course by a powerful gale. Then his parachute caught on a tree, so he hung there for hours in the middle of nowhere, shouting for help. Finally someone passed by. “How did you get up there on that tree?” he asked. The parachutist told him. Then asked, “Where am I?” “On a tree,” was the reply. “Hey! You must be a cleric!” The stranger was stunned. “Yes I am. How did you know?” “Because what you said is certainl
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petergec
2 months ago
The poet Kabir says: What good is it if the scholar pores over words and points of this and that but his chest is not soaked dark with love? What good is it if the ascetic clothes himself in saffron robes but is colourless within? What good is it if you scrub your ethical behaviour till it shines, but there is no music inside? Disciple: What’s the difference between knowledge and enlightenment? Master: When you have knowledge you use a torch to show the way. When you are enlightened you become
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petergec
2 months ago
A Guru promised a scholar a revelation of greater consequence than anything contained in the scriptures. When the scholar eagerly asked for it, the Guru said, “Go out into the rain and raise your head and arms heavenward. That will bring you the first revelation.” The next day the scholar came to report: “I followed your advice and water flowed down my neck-And I felt like a perfect fool.” “Well.” said the Guru, “for the first day that’s quite a revelation, isn’t it?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Every day in the corner of a library in Japan an old monk was to be found sitting in peaceful meditation. “I never see you read the sutras.” said the librarian. “I never learnt to read.” replied the monk. “That’s a disgrace. A monk like you ought to be able to read. Shall I teach you?” “Yes. Tell me,” said the monk pointing to himself, “what is the meaning of this character?” Why light a torch when the sun shines in the heavens? Why water the ground when the rain pours down in torrents? 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Child in geography class: “The benefit of longitude and latitude is that when you are drowning you can call out what longitude and latitude you are in and they will find you.” Because there is a word for wisdom people imagine they know what it is. But no one becomes an astronomer from understanding the meaning of the word “astronomy.” Just because, by blowing on the thermometer. You got it to register higher. You did not warm the room. 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A seeker asked the Sufi Jalaluddin Rumi if the Koran was a good book to read. He replied, “You should rather ask yourself if you are in a state to profit from it.” A Christian mystic used to say of the Bible, “However useful a menu, it is not good for eating. “ 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
One of the most renowned sages in ancient India was Svetaketu. This is how he came by his wisdom: When he was no more than seven years of age he was sent by his father to study the Vedas. By dint of application and intelligence the lad outshone all his fellow students till in time he was considered the greatest living expert on the Scriptures-and this when he was barely past his youth. On his return home his father wished to test the ability of his son. This is the question he put him: “Have you
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petergec
2 months ago
There was once a man who was very stupid. Each morning when he woke he had such a hard time finding his clothes that he almost feared to go to bed when he thought of the trouble he would have on walking. One night he got himself a pencil and pad and jotted down the exact name and location of each item of clothing as he undressed. Next morning he pulled out his pad and read, “pants”-there they were. He stepped into them. “Shirt”-there it was. He pulled it over his head. “Hat”-there it was. He sl
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petergec
2 months ago
People feed on words, Hue by words, would fall apart without them. A beggar tugged at the sleeves of a passer-by and begged for money to buy a cup of coffee. This was his tale: “There was a time, sir, when I was a wealthy businessman just like you. I worked hard all day long. On my desk was the motto: THINK CREATIVELY, ACT DECISIVELY, LIVE DANGEROUSLY. That’s the motto I lived by- and money just kept pouring in. And then... and then... (the beggar’s frame shook with sobs)”... the cleaning woman
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petergec
2 months ago
Words (and concepts) are indicators, not reflections, of reality. But, as the mystics of the East declare. When the Sage points to the moon all that the idiot sees is the finger!” A drunk was staggering across a bridge one night when he ran into a friend. The two of them leaned over the bridge and began chatting for a while. “What’s that down there?” asked the drunk suddenly. “That’s the moon,” said his friend. The drunk looked again, shook his head in disbelief and said, “Okay, okay. But h
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petergec
2 months ago
“What a pretty baby you have there!” “This is nothing! You should see his photographs!” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
The poet Awhadi of Herman was sitting on his porch one night, bent over a vessel. The Sufi Shams-e-Tabrizi happened to pass by. “What are you doing?” he asked the poet. “Contemplating the moon in a bowl of water,” was the reply. “Unless you have broken your neck, why don’t you look directly at the moon in the sky?” Words are inadequate reflections of reality. A man thought he knew what the Taj Mahal was because he was shown a piece of marble and told that the Taj was just a collection of pieces
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petergec
2 months ago
A traveller was walking along the road one day when a man on horseback rushed by. There was an evil look in his eyes and blood on his hands. Minutes later a crowd of riders drew up and wanted to know if the traveller had seen someone with blood on his hands go by. They were in hot pursuit of him. “Who is he?” the traveller asked. “An evil-doer,” said the leader of the crowd. “And you pursue him in order to bring him to justice?’ “No,” said the leader, “we pursue him in order to show him the way.
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petergec
2 months ago
A priest ordered his deacon to assemble ten men to chant prayers for the recovery of a sick man. When they had all come in, someone whispered into the ear of the priest, “There are some notorious thieves among those men.” “All the better,” said the priest. “When the Gates of Mercy are shut, these are the experts who will open them.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A Sufi saint, on pilgrimage to Mecca, was delighted to see that there were barely any pilgrims at the holy shrine when he got there, so he was able to perform his devotions at leisure. Having completed the prescribed religious practices, he knelt down and touched his fore-head to the ground and said, “Allah! I have only one desire in life. Give me the grace of never offending you again.” When the All-Merciful heard this he laughed aloud and said, “That’s what they all ask for. But if I granted e
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petergec
2 months ago
Pilot to passengers in mid-flight: “I regret to inform you we are in terrible trouble. Only God can save us now.” A passenger turned to a priest to ask what the pilot had said and got this reply: “He says there’s no hope!” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
The old miser was overheard at his prayers: “If the Almighty, may His holy name be blessed forever, would give me a hundred thousand dollars, I would give ten thousand to the poor. I promise I would. And if the Almighty, may He be glorified forever, were not to trust me, let Him deduct the ten thousand in advance and just send me the balance.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Mulla Nasruddin’s house was on fire, so he ran up to his roof for safety. There he was, precariously perched on the roof, when his friends gathered in the street below holding a stretched out blanket to him and shouting, “Jump, Mullah, jump!” “Oh no, I won’t,” said the Mullah. “I know you fellows. If I jump, you’ll pull the blanket away just to make a fool of me!” “Don’t be silly. Mullah. This isn’t a joke. This is serious. Jump!” “No,” said Nasruddin. “I don’t trust any of you. Lay that blank
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petergec
2 months ago
An atheist fell off a cliff. As he tumbled downward he caught hold of the branch of a small tree. There he hung between heaven above and the rocks a thousand feet below, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer. Then an idea came to him. “God!” he shouted with all his might. Silence! No one responded. “God!” he shouted again. “If you exist, save me and I promise I shall believe in you and teach others to believe.” Silence again! Then he almost let go of the branch in shock as
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petergec
2 months ago
Goldstein, aged ninety-two, had lived through pogroms in Poland, concentration camps in Germany and dozens of other persecutions against the Jews. “Oh, Lord!” he said, “Isn’t it true that we are your chosen people?” A heavenly voice replied. “Yes, Goldstein, the Jews are my chosen people.” “Well, then, isn’t it time you chose somebody else?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A wealthy farmer burst into his home one day and cried out in an anguished voice, “Rebecca, there is a terrible story in town-the Messiah is here!” “What’s so terrible in that?” asked his wife. “I think it’s great. What are you so upset about?” “What am I so upset about?” the man exclaimed. “After all these years of sweat and toil we have finally found prosperity. We have a thousand head of cattle; our barns are full of grain and our trees laden with fruit. Now we will have to give it all away
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petergec
2 months ago
One day they got out of bed at the same time and ran into each other, each with a sack of grain on his back! Many years later, after their death, the story leaked out. So when the townsfolk wanted to build a temple they chose the spot at which the two brothers met for they could not think of any place in the town that was holier than that one. The important religious distinction is not between those who worship and those who do not worship but between those who love and those who don’t. 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Two brothers, one a bachelor, the other married, owned a farm whose fertile soil yielded an abundance of grain. Half the grain went to one brother and half to the other. All went well at first. Then, every now and then, the married man began to wake with a start from his sleep at night and think: “This isn’t fair. My brother isn’t married and he gets half the produce of the farm. Here I am with a wife and five kids, so I have all the security I need for my old age. But who will care for my poor
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petergec
2 months ago
Tetsugen, a student of Zen, resolved on a mighty undertaking: the printing of seven thousand copies of the sutras which till then were available only in Chinese. He travelled the length and breath of Japan to collect funds for this project. Some wealthy people offered him as much as a hundred pieces of gold but mostly he received small coins from peasants. Tetsugen expressed equal gratitude to each donor regardless of the sum of money given. After ten long years of travel he finally collected
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petergec
2 months ago
On a cold winter night a wandering ascetic asked for shelter in a temple. The poor man stood shivering there in the falling snow so the temple priest, reluctant though he was to let the man in, said. “Very well, you can stay but only for the night. This is a temple, not a hospice. In the morning you will have to go.” At dead of night the priest heard a strange crackling sound. He rushed to the temple and saw an incredible sight. There was the stranger warming himself at a fire he had lit in the
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petergec
2 months ago
Dov Ber was an uncommon man. When people came into his presence they trembled. He was a Talmudic scholar of repute, inflexible, uncompressing in his doctrine. And he never laughed. He believed firmly in self-inflicted pain and was known to fast for days on end. Dov Ber’s austerities finally got the better of him. He fell seriously ill and there was nothing the doctors could do to cure him. As a final resort someone made a suggestion: “Why not seek the help of the Baal Shem Tov?” Dov Ber agr
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petergec
3 months ago
The Kamakura Buddha was lodged in a temple until one day a mighty storm brought the temple down. Then for many years the massive statue stood exposed to sun and rain and wind and the changes of the weather. When a priest began to raise funds to rebuild the temple, the statue appeared to him in a dream and said, “That temple was a prison, not a home. Leave me exposed to the ravages of life. That’s where I belong.” 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
RELIGION Weary traveller: “Why in the name of heaven did they build the railway station three kilometres away from the village?” Helpful porter: “They must have thought it would be a good idea to have it near the trains, sir.” An ultra-modern station three kilometres away from the track is as much of an absurdity as a much frequented temple three centimetres away from life. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
The old rabbi had become blind and could neither read nor look at the faces of those who came to visit him. A faith healer said to him, “Entrust yourself to my care and I will heal your blindness.” “There will be no need for that,” replied the rabbi. “I can see everything that I need to.” Not everyone whose eyes are dosed is asleep. And not everyone with open eyes can see. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
A prisoner lived in solitary confinement for years. He saw and spoke to no one and his meals were served through an opening in the wall. One day an ant came into his cell. The man contemplated it in fascination as it crawled around the room. He held it in the palm of his hand the better to observe it, gave it a grain or two, and kept it under his tin cup at night. One day it suddenly struck him that it had taken him ten long years of solitary confinement to open his eyes to the loveliness of a
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petergec
3 months ago
The Guru meditating in his Himalayan cave opened his eyes to discover an unexpected visitor sitting there before him-the abbot of a well-known monastery. “What is it you seek?” asked the Guru. The abbot recounted a tale of woe. At one time his monastery had been famous throughout the western world. Its cells were filled with young aspirants and its church resounded to the chant of its monks. But hard times had come on the monastery. People no longer flocked there to nourish their spirit, the s
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petergec
3 months ago
A tramp stood in the office of a wealthy man asking for alms. The man rang for his secretary and said, “Do you see this poor, unfortunate man here? Observe how his toes stick out of his shoes, how frayed his trousers are, how tattered his coat. I am sure the man hasn’t had a shave, a shower or a decent meal in days. It breaks my heart to see people in this wretched condition-so, GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT AT ONCE!” A man with only stumps for arms and legs was begging by the roadside. I was so con
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petergec
3 months ago
The priest of a fashionable parish had his ushers greet the people after Sunday service. His wife persuaded him to take on this task himself. “Wouldn’t it be awful If, after some years, you were not to know the members of your own parish?” she said. So the following Sunday the priest took up his post at the church door after service. The first one out of church was a woman in plain clothes, evidently a newcomer to the parish. “How do you do? I am very glad to have you here with us,” he said, o
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petergec
3 months ago
A famous Viennese surgeon told his students that a surgeon needed two gifts: freedom from nausea and the power of observation. He then dipped a finger into some nauseating fluid and licked it, requesting each of the students to do the same. They steeled themselves to it and managed it without flinching. With a smile, the surgeon then said, “Gentlemen, I congratulate you on having passed the first test. But not, unfortunately, the second, for not one of you noticed that the finger I licked was
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petergec
3 months ago
People would never sin if they were aware that each time they sin it is themselves they are damaging. Most people are in too much of torpor, alas, to have the slightest awareness of what they are doing to themselves. A drunkard was walking down a street with blisters in both of his ears. A friend asked him what had happened to cause the blisters. “My wife left her hot iron on, so when the phone rang I picked the iron up by mistake.” “Yes, but what about the other ear?” “The damned fool called
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petergec
3 months ago
As he walked out of the room, the Master, who had seen the devil seated in a corner of the room. said. “You need not have worried Tempter. He was yours from the very first, you know.” Such is the fate of those who, in their search for God, are willing to shed everything except their notions of what God really is. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
When the devil saw a seeker enter the house of a Master he determined to do everything in his power to turn him back from his quest for Truth. So he subjected the poor man to every possible temptation: wealth, lust, fame, power, prestige. But the seeker was far too experienced in spiritual matters and was able to fight off the temptations quite easily, so great was his longing for spirituality. When he got into the Master’s presence, he was somewhat taken aback to see the Master sitting on an
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petergec
3 months ago
Grandpa and grandma had quarrelled and grandma was so angry she would not speak to her husband. The following day grandpa had forgotten all about the quarrel, but grandma continued to ignore him and still wouldn’t speak. Nothing grandpa did seemed to succeed in pulling her out of her sullen silence. Finally he started rummaging in cupboards and drawers. After this had gone on for a few minutes, grandma could stand it no longer. “What on earth are you looking for?” she demanded angrily. “Prais
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petergec
3 months ago
“That’s a clever dog you have there,” said a man when he saw his friend playing cards with his dog. “Not as clever as he looks,” was the reply. “Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.” 🙂