Posts Posts + Replies
bitfeed
petergec
21 hours ago
When Buddha entered the capital of King Pransanjit, the King in person came out to him. He had been a friend of Buddha’s father and had heard of the lad’s renunciation. So he attempted to persuade Buddha to give up his life as a wandering beggar and return to the palace, thinking he was doing a service to his old friend. Buddha looked into the eyes of Prasanjit and said, “Answer me truthfully. For all your outer merriment, has your kingdom brought you a single day of happiness?” Prasanjit lowere
[more]
petergec
1 day ago
The guru sat in meditation on the river bank when a disciple bent down to place two enormous pearls at his feet, a token of reverence and devotion. The guru opened his eyes, lifted one of the pearls and held it so carelessly that it slipped out of his hand and rolled down the bank into the river. The horrified disciple plunged in after it but, though he dived in again and again till late evening, he had no luck. Finally, all wet and exhausted, he roused the guru from his meditation: “You saw whe
[more]
petergec
2 days ago
People have been known to make a rich life for themselves and others with very few possessions. There was a group of elderly gentlemen in Japan who would meet to exchange news and drink tea. One of their diversions was to search for costly varieties of tea and create new blends that would delight the palate. When it was the turn of the oldest member of the group to entertain the others, he served tea with the greatest ceremony, measuring out the leaves from a golden container. Everyone had the h
[more]
petergec
3 days ago
True philosopher that he was, Socrates believed that the wise person would instinctively lead a frugal life. He himself would not even wear shoes; yet he constantly fell under the spell of the marketplace and would go there often to look at all the wares on display. When one of his friends asked why, Socrates said, “I love to go there and discover how many things I am perfectly happy without.” Spirituality is not knowing what you want but understanding what you do not need. 🙂
petergec
4 days ago
A rich Muslim went to the mosque after a party and had to take off his expensive shoes and leave them outside the mosque. When he came out after prayer the shoes were gone. “How thoughtless of me,” he said to himself. “By foolishly leaving those shoes here I was the occasion for someone to steal them. I would have gladly given them to him. Now I am responsible for creating a thief.” 🙂
petergec
5 days ago
There was an old Zen Master called Nonoko who lived alone in a hut at the foot of a mountain. One night while Nonoko was sitting in meditation a stranger broke into the hut and, brandishing a sword, demanded Nonoko’s money. Nonoko did not interrupt his meditation while he addressed the man: “All my money is in a bowl on the shelf up there. Take all you need, but leave me five yen. I have to pay my taxes, next week.” The stranger emptied the bowl of all the money it held and threw five yen back i
[more]
petergec
1 week ago
Here is a story a Master told his disciples to show what damage a single trifling attachment can do to those who have become rich in spiritual gifts: A villager was once riding past a cave in a mountain at the precise moment when it made one of its rare magical appearances to all who wished to enrich themselves from its treasures. He marched into the cave and found whole mountains of jewels and precious stones that he hurriedly stuffed into the saddlebags of his mule, for he knew the legend acco
[more]
petergec
1 week ago
And Buddha said: “This land is mine, these sons are mine,”-such are the words of the fool who does not understand that even he is not his. You never really possess things, You merely hold them for a while. If you are unable to give them away you are held by them. Whatever you treasure must be held in the hollow of your hand as water is held. Clutch at it and it is gone. Appropriate it to yourself and you soil it. Set it free and it is forever yours. 🙂
petergec
1 week ago
The Indian mystic Ramakrishna used to say: God laughs on two occasions. He laughs when he hears a physician say to a mother, “Don’t be afraid, I shall cure the boy.” God says to himself, “I am planning to take the life of the child and this man thinks he can save it!” He also laughs when he sees two brothers divide their land by means of a boundary line saying, “This side belongs to me and the other side to you.” He says to himself, “The universe belongs to me and they claim to own portions of i
[more]
petergec
1 week ago
A miser had accumulated five hundred thousand dinars and looked forward to a year of pleasant living before he made up his mind how best to invest his money, when suddenly the Angel of Death appeared before him to take his life away. The man begged and pleaded and used a thousand arguments to be allowed to live a little longer, but the Angel was obdurate. “Give me three days of life and I shall give you half my fortune,” the man pleaded. The Angel wouldn’t hear of it and began to tug at him, “Gi
[more]
petergec
1 week ago
A Sufi of forbidding appearance arrived at the doors of the palace. No one dared to stop him as he made his way right up to the throne on which the saintly Ibrahim ben Adam sat. “What is it you want?” asked the king. “A place to sleep in this caravan serai.” “This is no caravanserai. This is my palace. “May I ask who owned this place before you?” “My father. He is dead.” “And who owned it before him?” “My grandfather. He is dead too.” “And this place where people lodge for a brief while and mov
[more]
petergec
1 week ago
Two jewel merchants arrived at a caravan sarai in the desert at about the same time one night. Each was quite conscious of the other’s presence and, while unloading his camel, one of them could not resist the temptation to let a large pearl fall to the ground as if by accident. It rolled in the direction of the other who, with affected graciousness, picked it up and returned it to its owner saying, “That is a fine pearl you have there, sir. As large and lustrous as they come.” “How gracious of y
[more]
petergec
2 weeks ago
A reporter was attempting to get an interesting story out of a very, very old man in a government-run home for the aged. “Grandpa,” said the young reporter, “how would you feel if you suddenly got a letter telling you that a distant relative had left you ten million dollars?” “Son,” said the old man slowly, “I would still be ninety-five years old, wouldn’t I?” 🙂
petergec
2 weeks ago
A miser hid his gold at the foot of a tree in his garden. Every week he would dig it up and look at it for hours. One day a thief dug up the gold and made off with it. When the miser next came to gaze upon his treasure all he found was an empty hole. The man began to howl with grief so his neighbours came running to find out what the trouble was. When they found out one of them asked, “Did you use any of the gold?” “No.” said the miser. “I only looked at it every week.” “Well, then.” said the ne
[more]
petergec
2 weeks ago
Sudha Chandran, a contemporary classical Indian dancer, was cut off in the prime of her dancing career-quite literally, for her right leg had to be amputated. After she had been fitted with an artificial leg she went back to dancing arid, incredibly, made it right back to the top again. When asked how she had managed it, she said, quite simply, “You don’t need feet to dance.” 🙂
petergec
2 weeks ago
The Buddhist nun called Ryonen was born in the year 1779. The famous Japanese warrior, Shingen, was her grandfather. She was considered one of the loveliest women in the whole of Japan and a poetess of no mean talent, so already at the age of seventeen she was chosen to serve at the royal court where she developed a great fondness for Her Imperial Majesty the Empress. Now the Empress died a sudden death and Ryonen underwent a profound spiritual experience: she became acutely aware of the passing
[more]
petergec
2 weeks ago
A priest walked into a pub indignant to find so many of his parishioners there. He rounded them up and shepherded them into the church. Then he solemnly said. “All those who want to go to heaven, step over here to the left.” Everyone stepped over except one man who stubbornly stood his ground. The priest looked at him fiercely and said. “Don’t you want to go to heaven?” “No.” said the man. “Do you mean to stand there and tell me you don’t want to go to heaven when you die?” “Of course I want to
[more]
petergec
2 weeks ago
...for the one essential is lacking. According to an ancient Indian fable a mouse was in constant distress because of its fear of the cat. A magician took pity on it and turned it into a cat. But then it became afraid of the dog. So the magician turned it into a dog. Then it began to fear the panther. So the magician turned it into a panther. Whereupon it was full of fear of the hunter. At this point the magician gave up. He turned it into a mouse again saying. “Nothing I do for you is going to
[more]
petergec
2 weeks ago
A man was so enamoured of fame he was ready to hang on a gibbet if that would get his name in the headlines. Is there really any difference between him and most business people and politicians? (Not to mention the rest of us who set such store by public opinion). 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
Have you heard of the man who accompanied Christopher Columbus on his expedition to the New World and kept worrying the whole time that he might not get back in time to succeed the old village tailor and someone eke might snatch the job? To succeed in the adventure called spirituality one must have one’s mind set on getting the most out of life. Most people settle for trifles like wealth, fame, comfort and human company. 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
In a little frontier town there was an old man who lived in the same house for fifty years. One day he surprised everyone by moving into the house next door. Reporters from the local papers descended on him to ask him why he had moved. “I guess it was the gypsy in me,” he replied with a self satisfied smile. 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
After thirty years of watching television, a husband said to his wife, “Let’s do something really-exciting tonight.” Instantly she conjured up visions of a night in town. “Great!” she said, “What shall we do?” “Well, let’s exchange chairs.” 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
...impostors many... A couple on their honeymoon were about to get into bed at their hotel when a masked burglar broke in. He drew a chalk circle on the floor, beckoned to the hus- band and said, “Stand there in that circle. If you step out of it I shall shoot you through the head.” While the husband stood there bolt upright, the burglar took everything he could lay his hands on threw it all into the sack and was about to get away when he saw the pretty bride covered in nothing more than a shee
[more]
petergec
3 weeks ago
...true seekers are rare... When the king visited the monasteries of the great Zen Master Lin Chi he was astonished to learn that there were more than ten thousand monks living there with him. Wanting to know the exact number of the monks the king asked. “How many disciples do you have?” Lin Chi replied. “Four or Five at the very most.” 🙂
petergec
3 weeks ago
SPIRITUALITY Given the nature of the spiritual quest... A man came upon a tall tower and stepped inside to find it all dark. As he groped around he came upon a circular staircase. Curious to know where it led to he began to climb and, as he climbed, he sensed a growing uneasiness in his heart. So he looked behind him and was horrified to see that each time he climbed a step, the previous one fell off and disappeared. Before him the stairs wound upward and he had no idea where they led; behind
[more]
petergec
3 weeks ago
In the old days it was common for people to use paper lanterns in Japan. The paper shielded a lit candle and was held together by bamboo sticks. A blind man happened to be visiting a friend and since it was late, was offered a lantern to take home with him. He laughed at the suggestion. “Day and night are all one to me,” he said. “What would I do with a lantern?” His friend said, “You do not need it to find your way home, true. But it might help to prevent someone from running into you in the da
[more]
petergec
4 weeks ago
While the wheelwright was making a wheel at the lower end of the hall Prince Huan of Ch’i was reading a book at the upper end. Putting aside his chisel and mallet the wheelwright called to the Prince and asked him what book he was reading. “One that preserves the words of the Sages,” said the Prince. “Are those Sages alive?” asked the wheelwright. “Oh. no.” said the Prince “they are all dead.” “Then what you are reading can be nothing but the dirt and scum of bygone people,” said the wheelwrigh
[more]
petergec
4 weeks ago
When an accident deprived the village headman of the use of his legs, he took to walking on crutches. He gradually developed the ability to move with speed-even to dance and execute little pirouettes for the entertainment of his neighbours. Then he took it into his head to train his children in the use of crutches. It soon became a status symbol in the village to walk on crutches and before long everyone was doing so. By the fourth generation no one in the village could walk without crutches. Th
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A disciple once said to Confucius, “What are the basic ingredients of good government?” He answered, “Food, weapons and the trust of the people.” “But,” continued the disciple, if you were forced to dispense with one of these three, which would you drop?” “Weapons.” “And if you had to drop one of the other two?” “Food.” “But without food the people will die!” “From time immemorial, death has been the lot of human beings. But a people that no longer trusts its rulers is lost indeed.”
petergec
1 month ago
A group of college students was dissatisfied with the poor quality of the beer that the cafeteria served them. Some of them got the bright idea of pouring some in a bottle and sending it to a hospital laboratory in the hope of finding out what was in the beer. The following day they received a note that said, “Your horse is suffering from jaundice.”
petergec
1 month ago
The dangers of trusting the expert: A man received a note from a friend written in an illegible hand. After struggling to make sense out of it he finally hit upon the idea of enlisting the help of the local druggist. The man at the drug store looked hard at the note for a whole minute, then took a large brown bottle from the shelf, placed it on the counter and said, “That will be two dollars, please!” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A great painter asked a doctor friend to come and look at what he thought was his finest creation. The doctor subjected the painting to a thorough examination, taking his time over every detail. Ten minutes passed and the artist became somewhat apprehensive. “Well, what do you think?” he asked. The doctor said, “It appears to be double pneumonia.”
petergec
1 month ago
A centipede consulted an owl about the pain it felt in its legs. Said the owl, “You have far too many legs! If you became a mouse you would have only four legs-and one-twenty-fourth the amount of pain.” “That’s a very good idea,” said the centipede. “Now show me how to become a mouse.” “Don’t bother me with details of implementation,” said the owl. “I only make the policy in this place.”
petergec
1 month ago
Somewhere in the 1930s a manufacturing concern in the U.S. sent a machine to Japan. A month later the company received a cable: MACHINE DOES NOT WORK. SEND MAN TO FIX. The company sent someone to Japan. Before he had the opportunity to examine the machine, the company received a second cable: MAN TOO YOUNG, SEND OLDER MAN. The company’s reply was: BETTER USE HIM. HE INVENTED MACHINE. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A large truck was moving through a railway underpass when it got wedged in between the road and the girders overhead. All the efforts of experts to extricate it proved useless and traffic was stalled for miles on both sides of the underpass. A little boy kept trying to get the attention of the foreman but was always pushed away. Finally, in sheer exasperation, the foreman said, “I suppose you’ve come to tell us how to do this job?” “Yes,” said the kid. “I suggest you let some air out of the tyre
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A woman once came to Rabbi Israel and told him her secret sorrow; she had been married twenty years and had still not borne a son. “What a coincidence!” said the Rabbi. “It was exactly thus with my mother.” And this is the story he told her: For twenty years his mother had no child. One day she heard that the holy Bal Shem Tov was in town so she hurried to the house he was in and begged him to pray that she might have a son. “What are you willing to do about it?” the holy man asked. “What can I
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
There was once a Rabbi who was revered by the people as a man of God. Not a day went by when a crowd of people wasn’t standing at his door seeking advice or healing or the holy man’s blessing. And each time the Rabbi spoke the people would hang on his lips, drinking in his every word. There was, however, in the audience a disagreeable fellow who never missed a chance to contradict the Master. He would observe the Rabbi’s weaknesses and make fun of his defects to the dismay of the disciples who b
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A recruit was assigned to guard the entrance to the army camp and was given instructions to let no car pass if it did not have a special pennant. He had occasion to stop a car bearing a General who promptly told his driver to disregard the sentry and drive on. Whereupon the recruit stepped forward, rifle at the ready, and calmly said, “Pardon me, sir, but I’m new to this. Whom do I shoot? You, sir, or the driver?” You achieve greatness when you are oblivious of the dignify of those above you, a
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
To please an official Abraham Lincoln once signed an order transferring certain regiments. Secretary of War Stanton, convinced that the President had made a serious mistake, refused to carry out the order. And for good measure he added “Lincoln is a fool!” When this was reported to Lincoln he said, “If Stanton said I am a fool then I must be one, for he is almost always right. I think I’ll step over and see for myself.” That is exactly what he did. Stanton convinced him that the order was a mist
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A friend once told the manager of an orchestra that he would love to have a position in the orchestra. Said the manager, “I had no idea you could play an instrument,” “I can’t,” was the reply. “But I see you have a man there who does nothing but wave a stick around while the others play. I think I could handle his job.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A rich man decided to fulfil a life-long dream of leading an orchestra. So he hired one drummer, three saxophonists and twenty-four violinists. At their first rehearsal he conducted so badly that the drummer invited the other musicians to leave with him. But one of the saxophonists said, “Why leave? He’s paying us well. Besides, he must know something about music.” At the next rehearsal the conductor just couldn’t keep time. Where upon the drummer started to beat his drums furiously. The conduct
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A young author once told Mark Twain that he was losing confidence in his ability to write. “Did you ever get that feeling yourself?” he asked. “Yes,” said Twain. “Once, after I had been writing for nearly fifteen years, it suddenly struck me that I did not possess the slightest talent for writing.” “What did you do then? Did you give up writing?” “How could I? By then I was already famous.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
The doctor decided that the time had come to tell his patient the truth: “I feel I should tell you that you are a very sick man and are not likely to live for more than another two days at the most. You may want to settle your affairs. Is there anyone you desire to see?” “Yes,” came the answer in a feeble voice. “Who is it?” asked the doctor. “Another doctor.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
Going by reports he had heard of him, the Caliph appointed Nasruddin Chief Advisor at the court. Since his authority derived, not from competence, but from the patronage of the Caliph, Nasruddin became a danger to all who came to consult him as became evident in the following case: “Nasruddin, you are a man of experience,” said a courtier. “Do you know of a cure for aching eyes? I’m having a lot of trouble with mine.” “Let me share my own experience with you,” said Nasruddin. “I once had a tooth
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
Owing to a variety of circumstances, the egg of an eagle found its way to a corner of the barn where a hen was hatching her eggs. In time the little eaglet was hatched with the other chickens. Now as time passed the fledging, quite unaccountably, began to experience a longing to fly. So it would say to its mother, the hen, “When shall I learn to fly?” The poor hen was quite aware of the fact that she could not fly and hadn’t the slightest notion of what other birds did to train their fledglings
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
It was the birthday of the parish priest and the children had come with their birthday greetings and gifts. Father took the gift-wrapped parcel from little Mary and said, “Ah! I see you have brought me a book.” (Mary’s father ran a bookstore in town) “Yes, how did you know?” “Father always knows!” “And you, Tommy, have brought me a sweater,” said Father picking up the parcel Tommy held out to him. (Tommy’s father was a dealer in woollen goods). “That’s right. How did you know?” “Ah! Father alway
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
The doctor carefully examined a patient and said, “You have had an attack of pneumonia. You are some sort of a musician, aren’t you?” “Yes,” said the man surprised. “And you play a wind instrument.” “That’s right. How did you know?” “Elementary, my dear fellow! There is a distinct straining of the lungs and the larynx is inflamed, undoubtedly because of severe pressure. Tell me, what instrument do you play?” “The accordion.” The hazards of infallibility! 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A young scientist was boasting in the presence of a Guru, of the achievements of modern science. “We can fly, just like the birds,” he was saying. “We can do what the birds can do!” “Except sit on a barbed wire fence,” said the Guru. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
An ancient king in India sentenced a man to death. The man begged that the sentence be condoned, and added, “If the king will be merciful and spare my life, I shall teach his horse to fly in a year’s time.” “Done,” said the king. “But if at the end of this period the horse cannot fly, you will be executed.” When his anxious family later asked the man how he planned to achieve this, he said, “In the course of the year the king may die. Or the horse may die, or who knows, the Horse may learn to fl
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
Many years ago a bishop on the east coast of the United States paid a visit to a small religious College on the west coast. He was lodged in the home of the college president who was a progressive young man, a professor of physics and chemistry. The president one day invited the members of his faculty to dinner with the bishop so they could benefit from his wisdom and experience. After dinner the talk turned to the millennium and the bishop claimed that it could not be far off. One of the reason
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
The radio genius Marconi, sat up all night with a friend in his laboratory discussing all the intricate aspects of wireless communication. As they were leaving the laboratory Marconi suddenly said. “All my life I have been studying this matter but there is one thing I simply cannot understand about radio “ “Something you do not understand about radio!’ said the astonished friend. “What is it?” Said Marconi, “Why does it work?” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
A priest’s daughter asked him where he got the ideas for his sermons. “From God.” he replied. “Then why do I see you scratching things out?” asked the girl. 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
Marshal Ferdinand Foch was Commander of the Allied Forces during the First World War. His chauffeur, Pierre, was sedulously cultivated by newspaper reporters who hoped to get information on what was going on in the Marshal’s mind. They were always asking him when the war would get over. But Pierre would never say. One day the reporters caught Pierre just as he was leaving headquarters. As they crowded around him the chauffeur said; “Today the Marshal spoke.” “What did he say?” they asked eagerly
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
Tall man in movie theatre to little boy sitting behind him: “Can you see the screen, son?” “No.” “Not to worry. Just look at me and laugh every time I laugh.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
Buddha says, “Monks and scholars should not accept my words out of respect but should analyse them as a goldsmith analyses gold by cutting, melting, scraping and rubbing it.” 🙂
petergec
1 month ago
The crown prince was a duffer so the king employed a special tutor for him. Lessons began with a careful explanation of Euclid’s first theorem. “Is this clear, your Royal Highness?” asked the tutor. “No.” said his Royal Highness. So the tutor patiently went over the theorem again. “Is it clear now?” “No.” said the prince. Once again the tutor went to work on the theorem-with no effect. When even after the tenth attempt the royal duffer could make no sense of the theorem the poor tutor was reduce
[more]
petergec
1 month ago
A neighbour came to borrow Nasruddin’s donkey. “It’s out on loan.” said Nasruddin. At that moment the animal began to bray from within its stable. “But I can hear it bray.” said the neighbour. “So whom are you going to believe, the donkey or me?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Belief in authority endangers perception: The doctor bent over the lifeless figure in bed. Then he straightened up and said, “I am sorry to say that your husband is no more, my dear.” A feeble sound of protest came from the lifeless figure in bed: “No, I’m still alive.” “Hold your tongue.” said the woman. “The doctor knows better than you.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
“Could you recommend a good doctor?” “I suggest Dr. Chung. He saved my life.” “How did that happen?” “Well. I had this serious illness and went to see Dr. Ching. I took his medicine and felt worse. So I went to Dr. Chang. I took his medicine and felt I was dying. So I finally went to Dr. Chung-and he wasn’t in.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
“Thank God we took a mule with us on the picnic because when one of the boys was injured we used the mule to carry him back.” “How did he get injured?” “The mule kicked him!” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
The woman was afflicted with a bad cold and nothing the doctor prescribed seemed to give her any relief. “Can you do nothing to cure me, Doctor?” she asked in frustration. “I have a suggestion,” said the doctor. “Go home and have a hot shower, then, before drying yourself, stand stark naked in a draught.” “Will that cure me?” she asked, surprised. “No, but it will give you pneumonia. And that I can cure.” Has it ever occurred to you that your guru might be offering you the remedy for art illness
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
AUTHORITY A tale from the Calcutta mystic, Ramakrishna; There was a king who used to have the Bhagavad Gita recited to him every day by a priest. The priest would then explain the text and say, “O King, have you understood what I have said?” And every day the king would neither say Yes or No. He would only say. “You had better understand it first yourself.” This always caused sorrow to the poor priest who had spent hours preparing the daily lesson for the king and knew that his explanation wa
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
There was a question of opening a reformatory for boys and a well-known educationist was called in for advice. He made a passionate plea for humane methods of education at the reformatory, urging the founders to spare no expense in getting the services of kind-hearted and competent educators. He concluded by saying. “If only one boy is saved from moral depravity, it will justify all the cost and labour invested in an institution like this.” Later a member of the board said to him. “Didn’t you ge
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
cc10d3f53e02d123cc094deaf420cc716c091cc32f6dba07a3280be49625af3b
petergec
2 months ago
There was a question of opening a reformatory for boys and a well-known educationist was called in for advice. He made a passionate plea for humane methods of education at the reformatory, urging the founders to spare no expense in getting the services of kind-hearted and competent educators. He concluded by saying. “If only one boy is saved from moral depravity, it will justify all the cost and labour invested in an institution like this.” Later a member of the board said to him. “Didn’t you ge
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
The Master at the school for archery was known to be a Master of Life just as much as of archery. One day his brightest pupil scored three bull’s eyes in a row at a local contest. Everyone went wild with applause. Congratulations poured in for pupil-and Master. The Master, however, seemed unimpressed. Even critical. When the pupil later asked him why, he said, “You have yet to learn that the target is not the target.” “What IS the target?” the pupil demanded to know. But the Master would not say
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
Little girl at fruit store with a banana peel in her hand: “What is it you want, darling?” said the vendor. “A refill.” was the reply. 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A little boy was in a village, away from the big city for the first time in his life. He was standing on the sidewalk when an old man drove up in a horse cart and went into a shop. The boy kept gazing in wonder at the horse, an animal he had never seen in his life. When the old man came out of the shop and was preparing to drive away, the kid said, “Hey, mister! Maybe I ought to warn you that he just lost his petrol?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
The modern child: A man wanted to foster a love for music in his children so he bought them a piano. When he got home he found them contemplating the piano in puzzlement. “How,” they asked, “do you plug it in?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Parents: “Why is it that though Johnny is younger than you his marks at school are always better?” Seven-year-old: “Because Johnny’s parents are clever.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A despairing couple sent urgently for the child psychologist because they just did not know what to do with their little son who had installed himself on the rocking horse of a neighbouring kid and refused to get off. He had three rocking horses of his own at home, but he was adamant that the one he wanted to sit on was THIS one. Attempts to drag him away led to such howls and shrieks that he was put right back on the horse. The psychologist first settled the matter of his fee, then walked up t
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
Nasruddin handed a boy a pitcher and told him to go fetch water from the well. Before the kid set out, however, he clouted him on the ear and shouted. “Mind you don’t drop it!” An onlooker said, “How can you strike a poor child before he has done anything wrong?” Said Nasruddin, “I suppose you would prefer me to strike him AFTER he has broken the pitcher when both the pitcher and the water are lost? When I clout him he remembers and so the pot and the water are both saved.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A little boy running down the street turned a corner suddenly and collided with a man. “My goodness!” said the man. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?” “Home.” said the lad. “And I’m in a hurry because my mother is going to spank me.” “Are you so eager to be spanked that you are running home for it?” asked the astonished stranger. “No. But if father gets home before me he will do the spanking.” Children are mirrors. When they are in the presence of love, that’s what they reflect. When lone
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
At the age of sixty-one Master Soyen Shaku passed from this world, but not before he had fulfilled his appointed task-he left for posterity a more varied and more sublime teaching than that of most Zen Masters. It was said that his pupils would sometimes sleep after the midday meal, overcome with lassitude in the summer. Even though he himself never wasted a minute. Soyen never said a word about this failing in his disciples. At the age of twelve he was already studying the philosophical tenets
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
A guru was holding class for a group of young disciples when they begged him to reveal to them the Sacred Mantra by which the dead are restored to life. “What would you do with a dangerous thing like that?” “Nothing. It would just serve to strengthen our faith.” they replied. “Premature knowledge is a dangerous thing, my children.” the old man said. “When is knowledge premature?” they demanded. “When it gives power to someone who does not as yet have the wisdom that must go with its use.” The di
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
U.S. President William Howard Taft was at dinner one night when his youngest son made a disrespectful remark about his father. Everyone was shocked at the audacity of the boy and a hush descended on the room. “Well,” said Mrs. Taft, “aren’t you going to punish him?” “If the remark was addressed to me as his father, he will certainly be punished.” said Taft, “But if he addressed it to the President of the United States, that is his constitutional privilege.” Why should a father be exempt from cr
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
The Dean of Women was introducing the newcomers to the college and thought fit to touch on the subject of sex morality. “In moments of temptation, ask yourselves just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” At the end of the lecture she asked if there were any questions. One of the girls timidly raised her hand and said. “Could you tell us how you make it last one hour?” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
“What did you have in school today?” a father asked his teenage son. “Oh, we had lectures on sex,” was the reply. “Lectures on sex? What did they tell you?” “Well, first there was a priest who told us why we shouldn’t. Then a doctor told us how we shouldn’t. Finally the principal gave us a talk on where we shouldn’t.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
A philosopher who had only one pair of shoes asked the cobbler to repair them for him while he waited. “It’s closing time,” said the cobbler, “so it won’t be possible for me to repair them just now. Why don’t you come for them tomorrow?” “I have only one pair of shoes and it won’t be possible for me to walk without shoes.” “Very well. I shall lend you a used pair for the day.” “What! Wear someone else’s shoes? What do you take me for?” “Why should you object to having someone else’s shoes on you
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
“I wish you would dress more in accordance with your position. Tm sorry you have allowed yourself to become so shabby.” “But I am not shabby.” ‘Yes, you are. Take your grandfather. He was always so elegantly dressed. His clothes were expensive and well tailored.” “Ha! I’ve got you there! These are my grandfather’s clothes I am wearing!” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Uncle Joe had come for the weekend and little Jimmy was ecstatic that his great hero was going to share his room and bed. Just after lights out Jimmy remembered something. “Oops!” he cried. “I nearly forgot!” He jumped out of bed and knelt down beside it. Not wishing to set a bad example to the little fellow, Uncle Joe heaved himself out of bed and knelt down on the other side. “Boy!” whispered Jimmy in awe. “When Mom finds out tomorrow, you’ll get it! The pot’s on this side.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
An old sailor gave up smoking when his pet parrot developed a persistent cough. He was worried-that the pipe smoke that frequently filled the room had damaged the parrot’s health. He had a vet examine the bird. After a thorough check-up the vet concluded that the parrot did not have psittacosis or pneumonia. It had merely been imitating the cough of its pipe-smoking master. 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
When Handel’s MESSIAH was first performed in London, the King who was present, was so carried away by religious sentiment during the Alleluia chorus that, against all convention, he stood up in silent respect for the masterpiece he was hearing. When they saw this, all the nobles present followed the example of the King and stood up too. That was the signal, of course, for everyone in the audience to stand up! Since then it is considered de rigueur to stand up each time the Alleluia is sung regar
[more]
petergec
2 months ago
When the young rabbi succeeded his father everyone began to tell him how completely unlike his father he is. “On the contrary.” replied the young man. “I’m exactly like the old man. He imitated no one. I imitate no one.” 🙂 ‘Be yourself!’ Beware of imitating the behaviour of the great if you do not have the inner disposition that inspired them to act.
petergec
2 months ago
Mother: “Did you know that God was present when you stole that cookie from the kitchen? And he was looking at you all the time?” “Yes.” “And what do you think he was saying to you?” “He was saying. There’s no one here but the two of us - take two." 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Religious-minded woman mourning the ways of the younger generation: “It’s because of the cars! Look how far they can go for a dance or a date nowadays. It wasn’t that way in your day, was it grandma?” Eighty-seven year old lady: “Well, we certainly went as far as we could.” 🙂
petergec
2 months ago
Three boys accused of stealing watermelons were brought to court and faced the judge nervously, expecting the worst, for he was known to be a severe man. He was also a wise educator. With a rap of his gavel he said. “Any man in here who never stole a single watermelon when he was a boy raise his hand.” He waited. The court officials, policeman, spectators-and the judge himself-kept their hands on the desks in front of them When he was satisfied that not a single hand was raised in the court, the
[more]
petergec
3 months ago
A man, who had just retired from forty-seven years of work as a reporter and editor phoned to the local Education Board and. after explaining his background in the newspaper business, said he would like to get involved in the local literacy programme. There was a long pause. Then someone at the other end said. “That would be fine. But would you want to teach or to learn?” 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
With the help of a MANUAL OF INSTRUCTIONS a woman tried for hours to assemble a complicated new appliance she had recently bought. She finally gave up and left the pieces all over the kitchen table. Imagine her surprise when she got back several hours later to find the machine put together by the housemaid and functioning perfectly. “How on earth did you do that?” she exclaimed. “Well, ma’am, when you don’t know how to read you’re forced to use your brains.” was the serene reply. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
Education should not be a preparation for life; it should be life. A group of college students begged novelist Sinclair Lewis to give them a lecture, explaining that all of them were to become writers themselves. Lewis began with: “How many of you really intend to be writers?” All hands were raised. “In that case, there is no point in my talking. My advice to you is: go home and write, write, write...” With that, he returned his notes to his pocket and left the room. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
Noticing that his father was growing old, the son of a burglar said. “Father, teach me your trade so that when you retire I may carry on the family tradition.” The father did not reply but that night he took the boy along with him to break into a house. Once inside, he opened a closet and asked his son to find out what was inside. No sooner had the lad stepped in then the father slammed the door shut and bolted it making such a noise in the process that the whole house was awakened. Then he hims
[more]
petergec
3 months ago
In the early 1850s American painter, James McNeill Whistler, spent a brief-and academically unsuccessful-period at West Point, the U.S. Military Academy. The story goes that when he was assigned to draw a bridge he drew a romantic stone one, complete with grassy banks and two small children fishing from it. “Get those children off that bridge!” said the instructor. “This is an engineering exercise.” Whistler got the kids off the bridge, drew them fishing from the bank of the river and resubmitte
[more]
petergec
3 months ago
The old man had lived most of his life on what was considered to be one of the loveliest islands in the world. Now that he had returned to spend his retirement years in the big city someone said to him, “It must have been wonderful lo live for so many years on an island that is considered one of the wonders of the world.” The old man gave that some thought, then said, “Well, to tell you the truth, if I had known it was so famous, I’d have looked at it.” People don’t need to be taught how to loo
[more]
petergec
3 months ago
Andrew Carnegie, one of the richest men in the world was once asked: “You could have stopped any time, couldn’t you, because you always had much more than you needed?” He replied: “Yes, that’s right. But I could not stop, I had forgotten how to.” Many fear that if they stopped to think and wonder they might not be able to get started again. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
One of the few men to walk on the moon tells how he had to suppress his artistic instincts when he got there. He remembered looking back at Earth and being enraptured by the sight. For a while he stood rooted to the ground, thinking. “My, that’s lovely!” Then he quickly shook the mood off and said to himself, “Stop wasting your lime and go collect rocks.” There are two educations: the one that teaches how to make a living and the one that teaches how to live. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
From a child’s report card: “Samuel participates very nicely in the group singing by helpful listening.” 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
Little Johnny was being tried out for a part in the school play. His mother knew that he had set his heart on it but she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were given out. Johnny, back from school, rushed into his mother’s arms, bursting with pride and excitement. “Mother.” he shouted, “guess what! I’ve been chosen to clap and cheer.” 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
An ancient legend has it that when God was creating the world He was approached by four angels. The first one asked, “How are you doing it?” The second, “Why are you doing it?” the third, “Can I be of help?” The fourth, “What is it worth?” The first was a scientist; the second, a philosopher; the third, an altruist; and the fourth, a real estate agent. A fifth angel watched in wonder and applauded in sheer delight. This one was the mystic. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
A man began to give large doses of cod-liver oil to his Doberman because he had been told that the stuff was good for dogs. Each day he would hold the head of the protesting dog between his knees force its jaws open and pour the liquid down its throat. One day the dog broke loose and spilt the oil on the floor. Then, to the man’s great surprise, it returned to lick the spoon. That is when he discovered that what the dog had been fighting was not the oil but his method of administering it. 🙂
petergec
3 months ago
Little Mary was on the beach with her mother. ‘Mummy, may I play in the sand?” “No, darling. You’ll only soil your clean clothes. “May I wade in the water?” “No. You’ll get wet and catch a cold. “May I play with the other children?” “No. You’ll get lost in the crowd.” ‘Mummy, buy me an ice-cream. “No. It’s bad for your throat.” Little Mary began to cry. Mother turned to a woman who was standing near by and said. “For heaven’s sake! Have you ever seen such a neurotic child?” 🙂